We as moms know how hard parenting can be. It pushes and stretches you beyond your limits.
Children are wired to test our rules and boundaries, and sometimes that can really push us over the edge.
The thing is, our state of mind influences the entire household.
If I am at peace, my children are more content. If I am frustrated, my children are more likely to act out. It can be an ongoing cycle that only we have the ability to control.
I am far from being a perfect mom. There are days when I fail miserably and am in need of His grace. But I have noticed that when I am intentional in parenting my children and maintaining peace in my own heart, the Lord gives me the strength I need to be more patient and calm.
The first step to becoming a calm mom is realizing we can’t do it on our own. We are in need of His strength.
“Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself unless it abides in the vine, so neither can you unless you abide in Me. I am the vine, you are the branches; he who abides in Me and I in him, he bears much fruit, for apart from Me you can do nothing.”
John 15:4-5
“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.”
Galatians 5:22-23
Patience and peace are fruits of the Spirit, and unless we abide in the Lord, we simply cannot be patient and calm with our children. We will ultimately fail.
When I have not connected with God, it affects my entire house. That is because when I am not abiding in the Lord, I am not producing the fruit of the Spirit. In fact, I am producing quite the opposite.
So becoming a more patient mom starts with abiding in God and relying on His strength.
So keeping that in mind, I also want to share 10 other practical tips as well that will help you keep your cool as a mom of young children. So here are some tips to be a more calm and content mama:
Find a Passion or Hobby
This may be difficult to do if you have little babies that require your attention 24/7. But if you do have some time to yourself, finding something you are interested in will help you feel more fulfilled and therefore more content.
This can be exercising, a sport, a creative outlet, etc…
Having something to work on that allows you to de-stress and relax your mind, will help you show up with more joy when you are with your children.
Learn About Childhood Development
This is something that made a HUGE difference in my parenting.
I have gone from thinking that my child is purposefully trying to push my buttons to understanding that he is having a difficult time communicating his needs.
You can do this by reading books, listening to podcasts, subscribing to newsletters, or watching videos on childhood psychology and development.
Remember That This Is Not Forever
I love listening to older women talk about motherhood because I am reminded that these early years of parenting will be gone before I know it.
I am inspired to make the most out of this stage of life.
It also reminds me to extend more grace toward myself and my children.
If you are having a particularly challenging day, try saying it out loud. Somehow hearing it said out loud helps me shift my perspective and mood.
Figure Out Your Child’s Need
One of the reasons why I am so big on rhythms and routines is because it allow me to anticipate my children’s needs and understand their behavior better. That way, instead of becoming frustrated when they have a meltdown, I am able to (usually) understand why they are having it and try to meet that need.
I also find that when I am focused on finishing my tasks and don’t give my children the attention they need, they become whiney and things end up getting a bit chaotic.
Being present in the moment and figuring out what my children need helps keep me from becoming impatient and frustrated with them.
Set Clear Boundaries
As I entered our living room one morning, I found my toddler sitting on the floor with a fruit pouch. All around him were orange stains from the apple and carrot fruit sauce.
I was about to scold him…but then I realized I never actually set a firm rule of not eating in the living room.
Even though he is usually pretty good about not making a mess with his snacks, the messes tend to happen at the most inconvenient times. And so setting up a boundary of no snacks in the living room would help limit the messes and as well as my sense of overwhelm.
Implementing boundaries takes work and time (lots of time), but they are key if you want your home to be a more organized and peaceful environment.
Get Outside
It’s amazing what a bit of fresh air can do for us! It’s a priority for us in our home because I can see how it helps regulate my children as well as myself. When things get a bit out of control, I pack up the stroller and we go for a walk. Sometimes, it’s only for a couple of minutes to reset my mind when I am overwhelmed.
Find a Way to Let Out Steam
No matter how intentional we may be, we all have moments that send us over the edge. Moments that make us feel NOT so calm.
I’ve been having quite a few of those moments myself lately. My toddler has gotten into a phase recently where if I say no, it’s suddenly his personal challenge to see how loud he can scream. Let’s just say, I am pretty sure I have some hearing loss now.
In those moments, I try to find a way to calm myself down before saying anything to my toddler. Sometimes it is singing, or drinking a glass of water, or going out on the porch to take a deep breath.
Here are a few things you can try when you feel like yelling:
- Sing
- Fake laugh
- Count to 10
- Take 3 deep breaths
- Drink a full glass of water
De-Clutter Your Home
We have heard of babies and toddlers getting overstimulated, and we know how that goes. But we as parents can also get overstimulated, and it definitely has an impact on our emotions as well.
Having a cluttered home can make you feel frazzled and overwhelmed.
De-cluttering your space is such a practical step towards becoming a more peaceful and content mama. You will be surprised at how much of an impact it has on your mind!
Adjust Your Expectations
One of the biggest reasons why we get angry or frustrated is because our expectations were not met. I can say that this is very true for me!
I love a clean home, but for some reason, I never thought about how different things would look once we had two little boys.
There have been times when I failed to keep my cool because my expectation to always have a clean home was not met. Like when my toddler walked all over the carpet with his muddy boots. Or when he threw his cup of juice simply because he wanted to watch it fall.
I have realized that in this season of life, I have to let go of a perfectly clean home. I have to expect there to be noise. I have to expect things to get messy. I have to expect tantrums.
Sometimes all it takes to be more joyful is a mindset shift.
Self-Care
Think of things that fill your cup. It may be exercising, getting your nails done, or doing an art project. If you would like to check out my post on self-care ideas for moms who don’t have much time, you can read it here!
I like to take out my calendar and plan my self-care. I know that if I don’t, my daily tasks take over and it ends up being a while before I do anything for myself. It gives me something exciting to look forward to!
Self-care does not have to be expensive or time-consuming. It can be anything that makes you feel rejuvenated and refreshed. But making sure to take care of yourself can help keep mom burnout at bay.
