As we brought our firstborn home from the hospital, and I laid him in his bassinet, I couldn’t help but be overcome with emotion. The thought of this little tiny human being my own to raise was so humbling and so overwhelming at the same time.
Sure I’ve had plenty of experience taking care of babies being the eldest of nine children, but this was something entirely different. And all of a sudden I had no clue what I was doing.
But then and there I felt this determination to get this motherhood thing right. And do it as best I could for this little human being who fully depended on me.
After the first few blissful days of becoming a mom, came the shock of a new life I was totally unprepared for.
No longer was it “do what I want, when I want” but now it was all about what the baby needed and when he needed it. And he was quite the fussy baby, I must add. Sleepless nights led to heightened anxiety and pretty soon I felt like I was drowning.
I knew motherhood would be a challenge, but never in my life had I encountered something this HARD.
I want to say that I ran to Jesus’ feet in moments of complete loneliness and frustration but more often than not, I turned to things that would distract and entertain me.
After the first couple of months, things got a bit easier. That is…until the four-month regression.
After a couple of months of sleepless nights, I felt like we were back on track… until the teething began.
As soon as I felt like I was finally swimming, motherhood presented me with a new challenge and there I was drowning yet again.
After recently listening to an episode of Made for This by Jennie Allen, I was presented with a revelation. I don’t remember the guest or the exact episode but it was on parenting. And in that episode, there was one phrase that stood out to me, which was: “Parenting wasn’t meant to be mastered”.
This was my aha moment.
I tried to read as many books as I could on motherhood. I wanted to get it right so that I could feel like I was in control. And every time I was presented with a new challenge, I was determined to figure out a way to resolve it as quickly as possible.
But that is when I was struck with a thought…
What if motherhood was meant to be difficult?
What if the One who created motherhood wants us to come to Him instead of getting it right on our own?
“Give all your worries and cares to God, for He cares about you.”
1 Peter 5:7 (NLT)
I have noticed in my own life when things are going just fine, I tend to pick up my Bible less. Pray less. And get distracted with the cares of this world more.
He created us to NEED Him. And while our worries and problems are difficult they are there for us to come back to our Maker.
To be upheld and strengthened by Him.
In the good seasons, my faith requires more discipline. But it is through the trials and pain that my relationship with the Lord grows deeper.
It is in the difficult moments of motherhood (and life in general) that I have found the love of God so sweet. And it is in those moments that His presence brings me a peace that transcends all understanding. And thus my faith grows.
“We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation.”
Romans 5:3-4 (NLT)
When I think of the difficult moments of motherhood, I do not associate them with joy.
Like when my six-month-old stayed up all night crying for the second night in a row due to teething. Or when my four-month-old would wake up almost every hour needing to be rocked back to bed for 3 months straight. Or when I walked through intense postpartum anxiety unable to leave the house on some days.
Now looking back, those were the moments that have helped shape me as a more patient mother. They have increased my faith because of how I have seen Him come through in those moments. They have also increased my endurance to be able to go through new trials as the seasons of motherhood change.
Motherhood is a journey of growth and sanctification. The trials and seasons of pain are required for us to grow in our faith and look more like Jesus.
When hearing from moms who are in different seasons of their motherhood journey, you come to find out that the challenges and trials never end. Although some seasons are more challenging than others, it is still a matter of exchanging an old challenge for a new one.
So dear fellow mama, if you are walking through a challenging day, week, or season. This is just my encouragement for you to spend some time with the Father. He wants to uplift you, strengthen you, and give you peace. There is a reason behind every season, and we know that according to God’s Word, it is ultimately for our good.
